Often times I am stumped on creating an online personal bio for various sites and need a little help in getting started. Most of the time I use "guy on the internet" as I am usually not clever enough to come up with something after trying in vain to figure out a password scheme that fits the developer's crazy idea of what a strong password is for the new persona.
Vox.com created an online job description generator that I really liked. This gave me the idea of combining a few to come up with something solid that represents the shear amount of BS I want to convey into less than 140 characters.
I listed some of the fresh steaming piles of BS it created below:
Jeremy is a asset who uses non-apology apologies to create dead horse rhetoric of incentivizing in making short-form content
Jeremy is a lone wolf who uses drunken econometrics to create best practices of monetizing in growing plans
Jeremy is a reject who uses drunken econometrics to create hyper-acute awareness of forging in mommy blogs
Jeremy is a consultant who uses Dilbert cartoons to create exciting advances of growth hacking in communism
Jeremy is a intrapreneur who uses synergy to create synergistic relationships of incentivizing in reimagining the everyday
Jeremy is a Nickelback apologist who uses thinking outside the box to create native apps of positive margins in new media
Jeremy is a generalist who uses radical clarity to create user-generated hot takes of winning in the cloud
Jeremy is a hacker who uses ancient Sumerian poetry to create alternative methods of mansplaining in maintaining the patriarchy
Finally, after some mental gymnastics I came up with this:
Jeremy is a lone wolf hacker intrapreneur who uses synergy to create synergistic outside the box relationships of incentivizing in reimagining the everyday in the winning of the cloud
Yep, that is me in a nutshell. Tons of buzzwords and no content.
Give it a try and let me know what you come up with, bonus geek points for adding it to your LinkedIn profile.
Thanks for reading